31 January 2012

I'll watch this. For two reasons. 1. Ed Harris as John McCain. 2. It's written by Jonathan.

 Also, when will I learn that the internet really does have everything? I give you the 82-page Fuck Yeah, Paul Gross! tumblr.

28 January 2012

20 January 2012


Because I'm one of those annoying people who is always telling other people about their dreams, I'll tell you about two nightmares I had in the last week.

The first took place in the great room at my cabin. I was there with my dad, and there was a trail of ants under the table, maybe about 6-10 ants marching in a line. As they marched around they got bigger. I asked dad what they were and he said they looked like carpenter ants. By this point they were big enough that we could see wings. They actually looked like cockroaches as they got bigger. They kept growing and I was freaked out, I ran from the chair I was in and onto a couch in the corner of the room.  At this point they were about a foot long, they had shiny, hard-plastic-looking white heads with black eyes. One leaped from the floor and hit me in/landed on my face. I screamed and tried to push it off, and that woke me up.

The second nightmare took place in a nondescript lobby somewhere.  I was with Alej and a childhood friend Angie. The ring finger on my left hand had a stiff joint and I couldn't  straighten my finger all the way. I held up my hand to show them, and before our eyes my entire hand started to swell. It happened really quickly and we all freaked out and Angie got on her cell and called an ambulance. As my hand swelled, it almost seemed to shrink, and my nails got longer, as if the pressure from the swelling was forcing them out. It freaking hurt too, I thought my skin was going to split open. All this happened over the course of a few seconds and I jammed my hand under my other arm because I couldn't stand to look at it. I woke up then, and my hand was tingling. It was gross and disturbing. Fucking nightmares. 

18 January 2012

Come on!

What did I just say?

And the story is about Ontario and Quebec! Is Quebec "Western" Canada now? I mean, yes, it's West of parts of Canada, but there's a whole lot more West beyond it. Maybe all of Canada is Western Canada now, with the Maritimes being Eastern Western Canada, BC being Western Western Canada, and the various Territories are Northern Western Canada.

New Plaskett

Check it out.

15 January 2012

Me (while skating this afternoon)

" I love skating! I miss it, I should skate more often...[fall hard, flat on my ass].... I hate skating, I never want to skate again."

13 January 2012

"...people inclined to comment from the anonymity of a keyboard tend to have opinions they're ashamed of expressing as real face-to-face people."

I have three new media-related pet peeves. I thought I’d share them with you, because what’s the point of having a blog if I don’t use it to force my opinions upon the world?

The first is the weather. Or rather, the way the weather is reported as if it’s never happened before. Snow in Atlantic Canada! Snow in Russia and Alaska! Deep Freeze in the Prairies! Will wonders never cease? There’s a reason most awkward elevator small talk is about the weather: it’s one of the few things otherwise disparate people have in common. We all see, think about, and are affected by the weather every single day. I mean, the snowmageddon thing in Alaska is cool, but does every single snowfall in every major population center have to be a separate news story? I mean, I live here and I don’t care that we’re bracing for a storm. It’s WINTER it’s going to SNOW and RAIN. That’s what “winter” means here. If it was, say, July and we were bracing for snow that would be something different. If it was February and Alaska was going through a humidexmageddon, that would be a story. But the weather doing what it’s supposed to do when it’s supposed to do it is just assumed. It does not require constant coverage. 

Holy carp! Snow at high elevations! The people need to know!

I love each and every person that actually gave money to the Stephen Colbert Super Pac. You are all awesome.

10 January 2012

Old content I never got around to posting

Sorry, y'all. Until I find more videos of baby animals being awesomely adorable, this is the best I can do.

If you think this is intense scrutiny, you should never watch Sharktopus with me.

Me: I finally saw the 1983 The Thing. It was really good. The special effects must have been really great for the time. I don't think they hold up that well, but it's still effectively gross when it's trying to be. I like that the alien is something different each time you see it.  I'm really confused about its biology though. I think I need to watch it again or read the source material. As I understand, the virus infects something and either takes it over, or replicates it from the inside? If its goal is to replicate humans and remain undetected, why does it keep bursting out of people? And when it bursts out of, say a human, why does it have other animal features if it was the human it replicated? And at times it seemed like it needed to eat the subject to replicate it. Is that how it works?  Also, does the virus recognize other infected people?  

Hermano: I think you're putting entirely too much thought into this movie.  I'm fairly certain, without ever having talked to him about it to verify, that John Carpenter's primary goal was not to make a film that would stand up to intense scrutiny by biologists.  I think he mostly wanted to make a thriller that would make people shit their pants.

(At least I'm not this guy). 

06 January 2012

Who's a big, scary bear?! You're a big, scary bear! Yes you are!

When this guy attacks, you die from unbearable (ha!) cuteness, not a head wound and subsequent blood loss.

05 January 2012

You can't win

This year I resolve to make no New Year's resolutions.

Crap. Instant failure.

04 January 2012

Me Listening to the News This Morning

Announcer: "...Canada lost the World Juniors semifinal to Russia..."
Me: "[gut-punch-like "Ohhh" sound]"

Announcer: "...front-runner of the Iowa caucus is Mit Romney..."
Me: "[gut-punch-like "Ohhh" sound]...which one is that again?"

As an aside, kudos to Edmonton for not going all smashy-smashy, stabby-stabby over the hockey loss. In the Fail Safe-like future I envision for us, when we have to decide which of our cities to sacrifice for the greater good, I think this will count in Edmonton's favour. Sorry, Vancouver.

02 January 2012

Belated Birthday Shout Out to Kimmy

Happy Birthday Kimmy!

This 9-year-old picture was the oldest picture of us I could find on my hard drive. We look cold. I must have some more on my old external hard drive, but that's in storage.  However, you're the unofficial archivist, so I'll trust that you've got all the really old pictures of us.

Anway, I hope you're feeling better and that we get time to hang out in 2012.